HER PRECIOUS EYES

Once a year,

our family goes to the eye doctor 

for our eye exams.

It was never a big deal to me

until we found out about Cassidy's eyes.

Now I dread going

every single year.

 Every time we go,

I try not to get my hopes up

that her vision will have improved,

and every single year,

while she sits in that chair,

getting examined,

I hold my breath anxiously,

and every single year,

without fail, 

the doctor turns around 

and delivers the bad news.

It's a little bit worse.

I know there are many many things

that could be wrong with my kids, and their health,

that aren't wrong,

and eye issues are so miniscule

and can be corrected,

so what do I have to complain about right?

But I can't help it.

When we are driving on the road, 

and someone calls out - 

hey - look at that plane up there,

or look at the bird on that tree,

or whatever it might be,

and we all look

and we all see...

...except for Cass, 

who says,

I can't see it...

...I feel like I've died inside.

And I think, 

that poor baby - 

she'll never know what it's like to see the mountains clearly.

She'll never know how it is to see a woodpecker on a tree far away.

She'll never know how it feels to just sit on the couch to watch TV

instead of on the ottoman RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. IT.

And God forbid anyhing ever happens to her good eye!

And it sucks.

Plain and simple.

Whether it's a small thing or not.

It's there,

and I wish it was gone.